- Chocolate Fondues -
We had our first-ever chocolate fondue in the Braun household during half-time. Lots of fun! (Sorry, honey...I'm sure your shots were much better).
Thursday
The Last Two Weeks
I can't believe two weeks has gone by since I last posted. It seems this juggler-mother isn't keeping all the balls up in the air.
Motherhood really has become this extraordinary juggling act, hasn't it? It's always been a multi-tasking job. Before technology, much of it was related to the necessities of life: obtaining food, preparing food, cleaning the home, washing the clothes, taking care of children and so on. Now, there's so many widely-diverse tasks that tug at our time: working outside the home, working at home, working on the home, taking care of children, taking children to daycare, driving here and there, and there's still community and church involvement, social commitments, travelling for work, and the multiple things within each category.
I was talking to Michelle from Tiber River about the many hats we each wear, and how many times we find ourselves changing gears (or hats). It's certainly challenging. My sister-in-law is currently facing the transition I think many mothers dread (and some welcome it): going back to work after maternity leave. There's nine months of anticipation and everything else that comes with pregnancy. Then, there's a period of intense adjustment and sleep loss within the first year of a myriad of changes as you get to know this new person in your life. And then, if you choose to go back to work or need to go back to work, you now are faced with the emotional adjustment of leaving your child with someone else, perhaps some new challenges with feeding and sleep, and the added responsibility of work on top of the existing home/mothering roles.
No wonder we're finding ourselves exhausted and irritable. But we, as mothers and women, often don't tend to look outward and try to change our circumstances (maybe because we feel trapped) and we don't even tend to look inward at our bodies' lack of resources to function. We just tend to blame ourselves for not measuring up. Tell me, when you're depressed and low on energy or easily-angered over every little thing, do you first look at it as a sign of change needed or do you assign guilt to yourself? Although I am learning (and it becomes easier when post-partum eases a bit), my first reaction is usually to get down on myself.
The other Saturday gave me a bit of hope for myself. I woke up after a not-so-great-night and everything felt hard, my chaotic house rangled my nerves, I was short with my kids, and I felt hopeless and alone in my situation. After an hour or so of just feeling crappy, I went upstairs to my bedroom to get some solitude and ended up ranting (and sobbing) to my husband. And then retreated to my closet to write. I expressed my feelings and frustrations and listed what I felt pressured to do and what I really wanted to do that day. Meanwhile, hubby and kids worked on cleaning the livingroom unbeknownst to me. I came down and went for a run with toddler in stroller because I physically still couldn't shake the stress inside me, we picked up some pizza from our local corner store, and finally things inwardly and outwardly felt a little better. This gave me hope because I could see the signs and make some changes rather than just beating myself up. And that's not a natural inclination for me.
Anyways, wherever you're at these days, I wish you peace. Peace in the midst of chaos. And when that peace is hard to find, may you discover new ways to find it again.
Motherhood really has become this extraordinary juggling act, hasn't it? It's always been a multi-tasking job. Before technology, much of it was related to the necessities of life: obtaining food, preparing food, cleaning the home, washing the clothes, taking care of children and so on. Now, there's so many widely-diverse tasks that tug at our time: working outside the home, working at home, working on the home, taking care of children, taking children to daycare, driving here and there, and there's still community and church involvement, social commitments, travelling for work, and the multiple things within each category.
I was talking to Michelle from Tiber River about the many hats we each wear, and how many times we find ourselves changing gears (or hats). It's certainly challenging. My sister-in-law is currently facing the transition I think many mothers dread (and some welcome it): going back to work after maternity leave. There's nine months of anticipation and everything else that comes with pregnancy. Then, there's a period of intense adjustment and sleep loss within the first year of a myriad of changes as you get to know this new person in your life. And then, if you choose to go back to work or need to go back to work, you now are faced with the emotional adjustment of leaving your child with someone else, perhaps some new challenges with feeding and sleep, and the added responsibility of work on top of the existing home/mothering roles.
No wonder we're finding ourselves exhausted and irritable. But we, as mothers and women, often don't tend to look outward and try to change our circumstances (maybe because we feel trapped) and we don't even tend to look inward at our bodies' lack of resources to function. We just tend to blame ourselves for not measuring up. Tell me, when you're depressed and low on energy or easily-angered over every little thing, do you first look at it as a sign of change needed or do you assign guilt to yourself? Although I am learning (and it becomes easier when post-partum eases a bit), my first reaction is usually to get down on myself.
The other Saturday gave me a bit of hope for myself. I woke up after a not-so-great-night and everything felt hard, my chaotic house rangled my nerves, I was short with my kids, and I felt hopeless and alone in my situation. After an hour or so of just feeling crappy, I went upstairs to my bedroom to get some solitude and ended up ranting (and sobbing) to my husband. And then retreated to my closet to write. I expressed my feelings and frustrations and listed what I felt pressured to do and what I really wanted to do that day. Meanwhile, hubby and kids worked on cleaning the livingroom unbeknownst to me. I came down and went for a run with toddler in stroller because I physically still couldn't shake the stress inside me, we picked up some pizza from our local corner store, and finally things inwardly and outwardly felt a little better. This gave me hope because I could see the signs and make some changes rather than just beating myself up. And that's not a natural inclination for me.
Anyways, wherever you're at these days, I wish you peace. Peace in the midst of chaos. And when that peace is hard to find, may you discover new ways to find it again.
Taking the Time
This week has felt like a blur of activity. I've been feeling a little bit like the trembling leaves outside in the biting wind. Today has been a bit of a slow-down day. Make some soup. Sit in bed reading Chatelaine while the kids play around me. Actually sit and play with my daughter and her new doll-house. Look out the window as the raindrops slide down. Make some art while I'm at it.
Life feels full and good one day, and overwhelming and chaotic the next. I think my soul was telling me to just slow down and rest a while.
Enjoy.
Life feels full and good one day, and overwhelming and chaotic the next. I think my soul was telling me to just slow down and rest a while.
Enjoy.
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